Reality behind Riots...

A week ago, a still and peaceful Tuscany night is shattered by the shrill ringing of a telephone. A bleary eyed David Cameron is rudely awoken and answers. It's an iPhone4. The ring tone is 'David Watts' by The Kinks.

'Hello?'
'Dave- Rupert here. How's the holiday going?'
'Hallo mate. Well, not too bad, until some bugger woke me up at 3am!'

They share a matey chuckle.

'Sorry for being such a gullah mate, but things have got pretty sticky and I need to have a bit of a chat'
'Yeah- sorry about all that hacking stuff- in a bit of a tight spot old bean. Electorate and all that. Couldn't really turn a blind eye. Becky ok?'
'No dramas, she'll just pop off for a few months for a bit of a holiday. Just as well to be honest, its the soonest I could get her on Oprah to launch her over the pond. Might have to sell that place in Chipping Norton, but I expect you know a good agent'
'Of course. I'll give old Binky Netherchops a call'
'Right- to business- listen, this hacking business won't go away, we need to sort it out. I need something massive to get my teeth into. What about a little war? There must be some banana republic somewhere you can lay claim to. Usually does the trick'
'Its not a bad shout Roop, but unfortunately what with the Arab Spring and all; we're a bit thin on the ground, army wise. Add to that the fact I've sacked half of them, it ain't happening.. Like your thinking though. What about something on home soil? You get to sell loads of papers, I get to look like a hero for sorting it out, everyone's a winner!'
'Interesting. Why don't we get some sort of civil unrest. You can arrange for some minor incident to go wrong, I dunno, get some young guy from a shady area shot or something. It'll all kick off massively. They'll never suspect you had anything to do with it. You're the PM for starters, and you're on holiday.'
'It might just work you know. I can come back, unite society against the hoodlums, law and order and all that, and you can cover the lot. They'll have forgotten all about the News of the Screws in no time!'
'Nice one Dave. Make the call'
'No probs. See you when I'm back?'
'No mate, I'm not coming back for ages, too much aggro. Feel free to use the jet and the villa though.'